Arrive bang on time for all meetings, but immediately announce you can only stay for 30 minutes as you have a clash.
Whenever anyone else makes a good point, say "I think we should minute that" - when the minutes are produced yôur name will be associated forever with the point.
Tell everyone outside your firm that you are "on track for partner"
Tell everyone inside your firm that at your last firm you were "on track for partner"
Set the alarm on your phone using the same ring tone as your incoming phone calls. Five minutes into a huge team meeting "take a call" and immefiTrly say " sorry can I come back to you, I'm in a meeting". Pause then say "120" (or whatever your salary is plus at least 50 grand). Hang up.
Enter famous peoples names into your phone contacts - e.g. Whenever your brother phones it will come up with "Richard Branson". Make sure people see it - for real nuts, let it ring through to voicemail
Learn how to say - "good to hear from you - can I call you back? In French, German, Japanese, mandarin, etc. fake an incoming call (see above) and respond in your chosen language. Hang up, look sheepish and say " a girl I met in Paris last year..." Resolutely refuse to speak any more of the language, if pressed, say / "really, I'm embarrassed at how bad my grammar is - I really only learned a few words from my old neighbours...."
Work as a junior analyst at a banking client, billing 800 a day because you know nothing. After 6 weeks transfer to another client as a 1200 a day subject matter expert (only works at EY)