As I was scrubbing myself in the bath last night, a random thought crossed my mind. It struck me how feeble and left-wing consultancy has become these days.
I remember the days when people used to sh1t themselves when the consultants arrived. They feared big headcount reductions, restructuring and job losses. The consultants had power - p1ss one off and you could easily find yourself at the wrong end of recommendation 8 in the report.
Nowadays, however, we see consultants being regularly beaten up by even the most wimpy little public sector managers. Treating us like vendors, summoning the team to reviews and starting with "so how do you think it's going?", nailing us down on price and expecting us to work for peanuts, using rubbishy little ploys like "do a really good job on this one for a really low price and there MIGHT be some follow-on work!", and expecting us to work all night on process maps while they leave the office at 4.45pm after a hard day's worth of achieving nothing (again).
So, I was thinking, how can we get away from this pathetic trend? Instead of running touchy-feely workshops where we all discuss how the introduction of a new CRM system might make us "feel" and the impact it might have on our "culture", how can we get some backside-kicking, right-wing, robust ACTION happening again?
Then I thought - they don't put up with this kind of drivel in the army. They either get things right - or they end up with a mortar landing on their head. No fudging the issue or hiding behind BS excuses there. So I wonder how a bunch of ex-Sergeant Majors would go about delivering consultancy services? As in the sort of sergeant major from the film Full Leather Jacket. How would they go about "Ripping sh1t up" and "getting results"?
So, any ideas how they might brand themselves? Service types or propositions they would offer? How they might position themselves in the market? Logos and straplines?
Would be interested to hear your thoughts!