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where to find a wife

 
#1 where to find a wife
16/02/2011 23:38

single consultant in London

Does anyone have any ideas when it comes to where a single consultant may look for wife-material in London?

cheerio

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#2 RE: where to find a wife
16/02/2011 23:55

Polish Plumber to single consultant in London (#1)

Kings Cross?

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#3 RE: where to find a wife
17/02/2011 00:31

Mark to Polish Plumber (#2)

Mentor a girl on your company's grad scheme.

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#4 RE: where to find a wife
17/02/2011 05:53

Les Dawson to single consultant in London (#1)

You want a wife?

Please, take mine.

Aharharhar.

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#5 RE: where to find a wife
17/02/2011 07:47

Evil Consultant to single consultant in London (#1)

Don't look in London.

With a few notable exceptions, the majority of women that I've met in London have either been self-obsessed harpies or marketing bunnies (actually events managers) with vastly overinflated opinions of themeselves and the value of the work that they do. Great for occasional stress relief but not really marriage material IMHO.

EC

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#6 RE: where to find a wife
17/02/2011 08:23

p to single consultant in London (#1)

Look in Colnbrook IRC for eager potential wives - convenient for Heathrow airport and flights out to clients, and no worries about bumping into ex-girlfriends on your way to finding the perfect soul-mate.

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#7 RE: where to find a wife
17/02/2011 09:05

rc to p (#6)

assistants in Mayfair art galleries - tend to be attractive, dumb and from expensive boarding schools, hence set to inherit a stack at some point. minor problem is that they are working there to meet super-rich husbands...

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#8 RE: where to find a wife
17/02/2011 10:16

billum to rc (#7)

above all not at work, I can't begin to imagine the claustrophobic hell of being married to anther consultant

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#9 RE: where to find a wife
17/02/2011 12:05

Need a wife too to billum (#8)

what are the most important traits to look out for? any experienced married men out there have any tips?

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#10 RE: where to find a wife
17/02/2011 12:41

geeza to Need a wife too (#9)

In the film Mongol, Genghis Khan was advised to pick a wife with "a flat face, small eyes so evil cannot enter, and strong legs to please her man". Avoid those doe eyed, slender limbed hussies...

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#11 RE: where to find a wife
17/02/2011 12:42

Legend to Need a wife too (#9)

Go to Thailand

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#12 RE: where to find a wife
17/02/2011 13:09

Tike to Legend (#11)

Is homosexuality definitely not an option then?

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#13 RE: where to find a wife
17/02/2011 13:24

anon to Tike (#12)

dating websites like mysinglefriend.com - was quite a few professional types on there

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#14 RE: where to find a wife
17/02/2011 13:36

Sarah Beeney to anon (#13)

You're being too vague with this when you need to be more objective.

Firstly – focus on what you want, I dare say my critique for an object of desire (or “wife”) is quite different to yours....since am a philandering pest.

It’s like choosing a car.....size, performance, cost of upkeep, mileage, reliability, looks, lineage, support network, rust and so on. Then add a score to each of these attributes and weight them accordingly....interestingly, the attribute for “weight” has a weighting too. Once complete – approach any girl in the street and map her actual attributes to your ideal spousal attributes....when, you’re within 90% of the target press the “buy it now” button and go for it my friend, then you will acquire the perfect wife.

Or do what everyone else does – get p*ssed and go to On Anon.

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#15 RE: where to find a wife
17/02/2011 13:49

Bo Selecta to Sarah Beeney (#14)

There is a TV programme called Snog Marry Avoid - simply pick one of those who have been successfully transformed from Avoid to Marry and thereby passed a rigorous marriageability selection process

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#16 RE: where to find a wife
17/02/2011 14:25

billum to Bo Selecta (#15)

Apply your consulting skills - screen candidates on the following criteria:

-fit

-flexibility

-responsiveness

-sustainability

-operating costs

-ROI

Whether you also assess the degree to which they are Green is down to personal taste.

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#17 RE: where to find a wife
17/02/2011 15:15

ABC to billum (#16)

It's a real problem.

I'd be happy to find "longer-than-a-two-week-fling" girlfriend material. I'm not even a consultant any more; I've loads of time on my hands. Out every wkend, terrorising girls in bars. But the more I look, the more I despair.

I don't think it's a London thing. In my case I think it's an age thing. In your late 20s, any girl in your age bracket who's still single either has issues or baggage, or both.

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#18 RE: where to find a wife
17/02/2011 15:16

S.Narayanan to single consultant in London (#1)

Loosing in final round need not necessarily be due to bad luck OR your nonperformance OR technical incapability.It just happens due to factors that cannot be spelt.But be sure that some other big position is awaiting you and you are getting groomed for it.This had happened to me on two occasions but when I was shortlisted and finally got thro for a world bank techinical assistance project as Team Leader I was really thrilled. Just take things easy and go ahead.Ups and downs are common for everybody in life. You have to make yourself happy at all times and should not get deterred at any stage.World is big, opportunities are increasing and somewhere and in some place you will be heading a big show.

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#19 RE: where to find a wife
17/02/2011 15:20

Anon to S.Narayanan (#18)

Seriously, try mysinglefriend.com

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#20 RE: where to find a wife
18/02/2011 16:01

Need a wife too to deleted (#0)

ROI? Please explain?!

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#21 RE: where to find a wife
18/02/2011 21:11

anon to ABC (#17)

i am a consultant, in my early 30s and single. i do not have issues or baggage.

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#22 RE: where to find a wife
18/02/2011 22:21

Evil Consultant to anon (#21)

Yeah, 'cause you're not in denial.

EC

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#23 RE: where to find a wife
19/02/2011 06:02

anon to Need a wife too (#20)

ROI - surely this refers to having children

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#24 RE: where to find a wife
19/02/2011 21:03

Stud to anon (#23)

Forget ROI - It's the BJ2FB ratio that's important.

(That's blowjobs to flowers bought for the virgins amongst you)

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#25 RE: where to find a wife
20/02/2011 10:11

relationship_consultant to Stud (#24)

you should find a wife the old fashioned consultant way.

1) Identify the geographies and demographics you wish to tap into

2) run a brainstorm session of profiles, use post it notes

3) set benefit KPIs (e.g. looks, skills, personality, propensity to spend etc...)

4) plot the profiles on a matrix containing one axis for "your chances" and a second axis for "the benefit rating"

5) design a stakeholder engagement strategy and an implementation plan (pay particular attentions to operational bottlenecks such as the movie you want to see on your first date being full; identify dependencies [e.g. you making a trip to the supermarket to ensure supplies of condoms]

6) ..................

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#26 RE: where to find a wife
21/02/2011 01:16

Marcus to single consultant in London (#1)

Most British women are not good marriage material, alas - too much feminist bo**ocks over the last 40 years. And the more high flying they are, the worse wives they make. Of course there are exceptions, but be under no illusions. And a pre-nup agreement might be a good idea, given that divorce laws in the UK are heavily weighted against men.

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#27 RE: where to find a wife
22/02/2011 10:37

R2D2 to Marcus (#26)

Is it just me or has this forum got a little off track recently?

No response.......?

Yep, its obviously just me. I'll get my coat...

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#28 RE: where to find a wife
22/02/2011 11:02

chameleon to R2D2 (#27)

What's really tellling is the lack of any thread entitled 'Where to find a husband'....as women will probably know (way before reading the 'advice' here) - this forum ain't the place !

Why not do the time-honoured thing and just have a drink amongst an all male group, throw testosterone around while denying any trace of vacuous insecurity ?

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#29 RE: where to find a wife
22/02/2011 11:04

cons to Marcus (#26)

Marcus - have you been dumped recently?

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#30 RE: where to find a wife
22/02/2011 11:48

One Great Consultant to cons (#29)

My greatness couldn't be contained to just one woman so I have several wives, each with their own set of KPI's, SLA's and deliverables.

LD's apply to poor performance and appraisals are held on a six-monthly cycle.

They love it.

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#31 RE: where to find a wife
22/02/2011 12:41

ABC to One Great Consultant (#30)

The whole applying-work-jargon-to-real-life-scenarios thing stopped being funny about 3 yrs ago.

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#32 RE: where to find a wife
22/02/2011 12:44

Cupid to One Great Consultant (#30)

Contact the love doctor- Doctor Cockney

www.doctorcockney.co.uk

worked for me!

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#33 RE: where to find a wife
22/02/2011 17:20

Just_Genius to Cupid (#32)

Pretend to be gay for an extended period of time.

women love gay guys and automatically want to befriend them

after a while, they will recognise you possess the attributes of the ideal man (sensitive, fashion conscious...)

then, when the guards are down, this is when you STRIKE!! (in a big way illustrated by capital letters)

reward them by letting them think they converted you; thanks to their amazing lovin skills

Risk: watch out for future birthday propositions in the form of 3some offers (not the good version....)

Just Genius

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#34 RE: where to find a wife
22/02/2011 17:59

ABC to deleted (#0)

oh, what's this? somebody thought he would get a swathe of praise for his wit but ended up being called out on a poor contribution?

Don't take your frustration at your extremely mediocre banter out on me with name-calling, you fool...

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#35 RE: where to find a wife
22/02/2011 18:36

Relationship_consultant to ABC (#34)

I am reflecting on my post with shame.

I will too, get my coat....

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#36 RE: where to find a wife
24/02/2011 10:13

ZB to Relationship_consultant (#35)

Any other good websites for clever / middle class / well educated women (other than mysinglefriend)?

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#37 RE: where to find a wife
24/02/2011 17:45

anon to ZB (#36)

The Onion Personals

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#38 RE: where to find a wife
24/02/2011 18:00

Cheryl C to ZB (#36)

Thing is, mysinglefriend only works if you've got at least 1 friend who thinks you're above average at anything....if you don't have someone then you look cr@p

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