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Bad with names....

#1 Bad with names....
16/02/2011 16:57

I.P. Freely

OK – currently have a big problem, I work in one of the big 4 consultancies and working on risk/regulatory financial services change projects. There’s the scene, my issue here is nothing to do with that. There’s a bloke in my office who keeps saying hello to me (I’m a bloke too) and entering in to long winded conversations about work, clients and all the usual stuff. Problem is that I don’t know his name and he clearly knows mine, plus my background and what I’m working on and I don’t know him from Adam. Inevitably, this leads in to lots of awkward scenarios where I say “Hi, how’s it”. There’s no insinuation that his motives are anything more than professional (my wedding ring hope sends out a karmic signal to this effect)......what I’m trying to find now is a way of finding out his name, out of respect and professionalism. Unfortunately, the period of polite acknowledgements and therefore the time to say “sorry, didn’t catch your name” has gone so will now either look rude and/or ignorant. What a pickle.

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#2 RE: Bad with names....
16/02/2011 17:08

Mars A Day to I.P. Freely (#1)

Easy, either:

1. find a reason to get him to send you an email - work related, football related, whatever it is. As you can't remember his name do try to remember what you asked him to email you about...

2. Man up and tell him..'Mate in all this banter I've realised that I don't actually know your name (laugh)'

3. Ask someone else what his name is.

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#3 RE: Bad with names....
16/02/2011 18:20

Mr Cool to Mars A Day (#2)

There is a story of a pilot finding himself in this situation with a co-pilot. Trying not to admit that he had not paid attention to his colleagues name when introducing themselves, he spent the entire long-haul flight fishing for a clue. After they landed he resorted to pretending to fill in a report and casually asked "how do you spell your surname?".

Cue a confused co-pilot saying "S-M-I-T-H".

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#4 RE: Bad with names....
17/02/2011 10:14

rc to Mr Cool (#3)

better follow Mars' advice before he asks you to be best man at his wedding and you have to come up with a speech...

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#5 RE: Bad with names....
17/02/2011 11:42

One Great Consultant to rc (#4)

You don't need to know my name.

Does this bloke know your wife?

I'm just saying.....

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#6 RE: Bad with names....
17/02/2011 13:53

Rollercoaster to One Great Consultant (#5)

Campaign within your firm for compulsory wearing on name badges in order to increase 'security'. Security of your job that is as you can then read colleagues names off the badges hanging around their necks.

Beware relying on this though as it has been known for people to cotton on to this behaviour and swap passes..

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#7 RE: Bad with names....
17/02/2011 14:09

I.P. Freely to Rollercoaster (#6)

Thanks - all great stuff.

After careful consideration - I've narrowed it down to:

- Have and affair (well try to) with his wife, and when round at his house, check the post for his name. Potential downside that he'd take this negatively and not speak to me again.

- Join a training course where we have to write our name in marker pen on a faux-toblerone shaped banner (though this carries the risk that he could potentially use a nick name or even a false name). Again, potential down side is that I may have to undertake a short development course in an area not of my chosing - a meagre price to pay.

- trigger the fire alarm at work, then hide in the cupboard and when everyone is evacuated scout his desk for headed e-mails, notes, payslips etc. Don't see any risks with this one......will go for it, wish me luck!

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#8 RE: Bad with names....
17/02/2011 15:33

Mars A Day to I.P. Freely (#7)

In case none of those work...

Leave the Big 4 and work very hard to be successful client side, then ask that this person be staffed on a project. Sure enough you should learn their name in due course.

Pickpocket them in the corridor and get name from driving licence.

Ditch the hair dye, grow a few greys, then tell him you are in fact his father. Tell him you wanted to name him Mercedes or Crystal or something cos you thought he was a girl and ask him what name her prefers to use (a bug*er if he actually wants to be called Mercedes or Crystal etc obviously)

Take him out drinking, drug him, then make sure he wakes up naked in your bed. Tell him to disclose his name forthwith of that video of last night will find its way to his wife. Suggest sleeping on the sofa yourself. Sacrifices called for.

Tell him you have an anagram fetish and ask him to make an anagram from his name. If he answers to Bob you just gotta accept this is not going to work.

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