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Quotes

 
#1 Quotes
13/01/2010 12:35

Shakespeare

In thread 60591, Mr Cool said "Sorry friend, but you cannot sober up by drinking more."

I love phrases like this.

Please share any more funny yet true phrases like this which would be useful to a consultant, whether in their work life or generally.

Thanks.

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#2 RE: Quotes
13/01/2010 17:33

Frank 2 to Shakespeare (#1)

'If six people tell you you're ill, lie down'

That's actually froma n episode of Home and Away

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#3 RE: Quotes
13/01/2010 17:36

Frank 2 to Frank 2 (#2)

and - not related to consulting but good nonetheless:

Lady: 'Sir, If you were my husband I would poison you'

Winston Churchill: 'Madam, if you were my wife, I'd let you'

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#4 RE: Quotes
13/01/2010 18:00

Man child to Frank 2 (#3)

You are what you eat. That must make me fast, cheap and easy

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#5 RE: Quotes
14/01/2010 09:21

Double trouble to Man child (#4)

"Stupid is as stupid does"

Best directed at PA partners when talking about memory sticks or T5 baggage handling or how to handle redundancies in a caring manner or any other of a whole host of situations

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#6 RE: Quotes
14/01/2010 15:09

another one to Double trouble (#5)

My soap

My sausage

Up to me how hard I wash it

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#7 RE: Quotes
14/01/2010 17:20

Mr Cool to another one (#6)

"another one"

certainly qualifies as funny, but (other than the obvious) what the heck does it mean!?

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#8 RE: Quotes
15/01/2010 01:26

aus_mike to Shakespeare (#1)

UK Partner: "Well it seems as though client X can finally see the end of the tunnel".

US Partner: "Well then champ, build more tunnel".

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#9 RE: Quotes
15/01/2010 08:05

Jack Sparrow to aus_mike (#8)

“It is better to keep your mouth shut and appear stupid than to open it and remove all doubt"

- Mark Twain

All consultants should follow that mantra.

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#10 RE: Quotes
15/01/2010 21:41

Mgmt Cons to Jack Sparrow (#9)

Well quoted Jack Sparrow. You just removed all my doubts.

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#11 RE: Quotes
15/01/2010 21:47

Wise Man to Mgmt Cons (#10)

You do not get a second chance to make first impression

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#12 RE: Quotes
16/01/2010 10:15

Talons to Wise Man (#11)

"Talent is a gift that keeps on giving."

A line I often use to motivate myself during those long, late nights.

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#13 RE: Quotes
16/01/2010 11:47

Mr Miyagi to Talons (#12)

"Wax on. Wax off."

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#14 RE: Quotes
16/01/2010 19:14

Frank to deleted (#0)

Make poverty history... cheaper drugs now!

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#15 RE: Quotes
17/01/2010 13:49

anon to Shakespeare (#1)

Here's a phrase which should be in certain consultants' vocabulary more often:

"To all my friends and colleagues, I am ashamed and I am sorry."

(Anil Kumar of McKinsey & Co.; U.S. District Court, Southern District of New York; January 7th 2010)

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#16 RE: Quotes
18/01/2010 09:39

wealthy.industrialist to anon (#15)

1. "We are consultants, not bricklayers" - When the client complains that the scope of work has not been completed

2. "Think of your organisation as a large beast. We have given you a recipe (referring to the consulting output) to make and keep the beast healthy. But do not expect us to cook for the beast; that is something that you have to do - with your cooks." - When the client complains that the consultant is not implementing the solution

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#17 RE: Quotes
18/01/2010 12:48

anon to wealthy.industrialist (#16)

Excellent contribution Wealthy.industrialist! You have spent too much time in the company of MC’s – just the sort of nonsense so many of us come out with.

Second example in particular. Instead of providing a simple analogy to a complex situation (surely the purpose of an analogy?) the words simply restate the rather tenuous position in a completely nonsense way. Just the right hint of a mixed metaphor as well.

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#18 RE: Quotes
18/01/2010 13:47

Winston to anon (#17)

Attention! Attention!

The name of this thread it incorrect. 'Quote' refers to the verb 'to quote' and is incorrectly used as a noun in this horrendous titular faux pas. The correct title should be 'Quotations'

Thank you and good day Sirs.

Winnie

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#19 RE: Quotes
18/01/2010 14:10

anon to Winston (#18)

To Frank...close but the actual quote is:

Lady Astor: Sir, if you were my husband, I would poison your drink.

Winston Churchill: Madam, if you were my wife, I would drink it

This is also good:

Lady Astor: Mr. Churchill, you're drunk!

Winston Churchill:Yes, and you, Madam, are ugly. But tomorrow, I shall be sober

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#20 RE: Quotes
19/01/2010 10:50

R2D2 to anon (#19)

How about "Be yourself, everyone else is already taken" (oscar Wilde)

Works really well at interviews as a retort when some dumb grad recruiter asks that sutpid question "have we seen the real you today?" (obviously this is better than saying, well who the **** did you think has been talking to you!)

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#21 RE: Quotes
19/01/2010 10:53

R2D2 to R2D2 (#20)

Better still, in reponse to a request for 360 feedback one mail came back thus...

Q: What further action would you recommend to improve the individual?

A: Please consider sterilisation (anon)

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#22 RE: Quotes
19/01/2010 17:42

someguy to Shakespeare (#1)

"In every society some men are born to rule, and some to advise." - Ralph Waldo Emerson

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#23 RE: Quotes
19/01/2010 19:51

Bruce to someguy (#22)

Learning is not enough. You must apply.

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#24 RE: Quotes
22/01/2010 08:48

Ned Flanders to Bruce (#23)

A nice little reminder...

"Life is too important to be taken seriously" Oscar Wilde

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#25 RE: Quotes
22/01/2010 09:44

Mars A Day to Ned Flanders (#24)

'We have no money. We must think'.

Attributed to Winston Churchill referencing the Africa campaign againt Rommell.

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#26 RE: Quotes
22/01/2010 10:32

Bart to Mars A Day (#25)

D'oh

(Homer Simpson - an aspirational figure if ever there was one)

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#27 RE: Quotes
22/01/2010 11:09

PA person to Bart (#26)

Zombie Economy is here - learn to love it

Warren Buffet

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#28 RE: Quotes
22/01/2010 11:57

wealthy.industrialist to anon (#17)

"doveryai, no proveryai" (Russian for "Trust but verify") - Partner to Engagement Manager when the EM has outrage in his eyes at the Partner reading his (GBP 20k) expense sheet before signing it. Has to be said with simulated jocularity as the situation is delicate.

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#29 RE: Quotes
22/01/2010 12:03

wealthy.industrialist to wealthy.industrialist (#28)

"Correlation does not mean causality" - EM to eager-to-please Associate when he (Associate) shows him (EM) some sexy analysis hoping to be lauded for it. The aim of this statement is to tell the Associate that his analysis does not justify the conclusion that he has reached. Can be said even without looking at the analysis as the sole aim is to deflate the Associate's ego. Often used caustically and with a been-there-done-that look and a careless shrug of the shoulders.

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#30 RE: Quotes
22/01/2010 12:10

wealthy.industrialist to Shakespeare (#1)

"Consulto, ergo sum" - Partner at client presentations, as a precursor to launching into his consulting experience. Very difficult to pull off for Principals or less-than-star partners. The speaker must have presence, good looks and a deep voice. It also helps if you tilt your head philosophically while uttering these words.

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#31 RE: Quotes
22/01/2010 12:22

wealthy.industrialist to Shakespeare (#1)

"That does meet the tests of logical consistency and empirical adequacy but fails that of experiential relevance" - Very Senior Partner in client presentations while dismissing a seemigly-good suggestion from one of the nay-sayers in the client team. Used when an idea makes eminent sense but the client CEO does not like it because he dislikes the person who gave it. Again, very difficult to pull off until you have star persona.

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