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Attraction at Work - What to Do

 
#1 Attraction at Work - What to Do
14/06/2008 07:35

rachel

I've recently started to feel hugely attracted to someone who has joined my project team - I have to work with them very closely, and this is making me feel hugely distracted. I'm not sure if they like me too - we're both in relationships. I need to handle this so that it doesn't get in the way of work, any tips on how best to deal with this?

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#2 RE: Attraction at Work - What to Do
14/06/2008 12:05

--- to rachel (#1)

Try some Evening Primrose Oil?

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#3 RE: Attraction at Work - What to Do
14/06/2008 12:56

we are not all animals to deleted (#0)

Cold shower in the morning and remind yourself that you are at work

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#4 RE: Attraction at Work - What to Do
14/06/2008 14:51

Nic to rachel (#1)

Rachel, It's interesting that you talk about 'them', not 'him', can I ask if it is a guy, because if affects the answer to your question? The next point, especially as you are both already in relationships, is not to do anything in front of the team/at work, people will pick up on as little as a smile, and will start questioning your behaviour. This doesn't mean that the two of you can not get closer though, we have several friends (couples) who were having great relationships together in environments that definately wouldn't 'have approved', and in both cases the first most colleagues knew about it was when they announced they were getting together! Also, do you have a friend at work you can confide in, it can be a big help?

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#5 RE: Attraction at Work - What to Do
14/06/2008 17:48

rachel to Nic (#4)

at last a sensible reply! it is a guy, and whilst this may seem basic, it's new to me after being in a relationship for quite a long time.

anyway, your tip about confiding in someone is a good one and i think i might do this, thanks

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#6 RE: Attraction at Work - What to Do
14/06/2008 21:17

anon to rachel (#5)

Don't crap on your own doorstep

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#7 RE: Attraction at Work - What to Do
14/06/2008 22:45

poopster to rachel (#5)

This really is quite a 13-years-old-and-dot-my-'i's-with-little-love-hearts thread... maybe there is an agony aunt in some teenagers' magazine who might more help?

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#8 RE: Attraction at Work - What to Do
15/06/2008 16:34

we ARE all animals to poopster (#7)

As a bloke, I'm fascinated that this thread and the one re women's suits have generated responses from self-appointed forum guardians.

Rachel - it's very unlikely that your responses to romance will have changed since you went into your current relationship. Are you likely to be able to cope with a close friendship at work and not let this destroy your home life? If you are, enjoy the work chemistry and move on when you're bored.

If you know, for example, that you personally can only have "serious" relationships, you need to decide whether this work relationship might be better for you than your current one. If not, make your excuses and leave - either get a transfer or set your limits. Don't get involved in team social events and keep yourself to yourself.

Overall, it may be worth remembering that these are your choices - you've identified the issue early on and have the wherewithal to direct your own responses.

Good luck!

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#9 RE: Attraction at Work - What to Do
15/06/2008 21:20

Stud to we ARE all animals (#8)

Hi Rachel

If he turns you down, let me know and we can get it on. You sound like a bit of a girl.

Much love

Stud

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#10 RE: Attraction at Work - What to Do
15/06/2008 21:33

rachel to Stud (#9)

ho ho ho

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#11 RE: Attraction at Work - What to Do
16/06/2008 12:25

Mars A Day to rachel (#1)

Good grief this is overcooked! Rachel if you fancy the guy get on with it; leave all the Mills and Boon cr@p for later, and please don't bore everyone senseless with the whole 'does he really like me?' bs. Take him out for a drink, make a move. Shag like bunnies, break up, hate each other, move on and repeat ad nauseum.

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#12 RE: Attraction at Work - What to Do
18/06/2008 16:46

Ouch to Mars A Day (#11)

People can be very harsh - relationships at work are a strange situation, and can propel you into the murky world of company politics quicker than you can slip one in.

I have a massive crush on a girl that I work very closely with, and wouldn't be surprised if she feels similar, but it's a small company and I'm not willing to take the risk of ruining a great working relationship (possibly helped by the slight tension). It would also change 'our' relationship with colleagues, and possibly make them feel uncomfortable in such a tight environment.

In a larger company however, you have free reign to do how you please and move on if things do start getting serious (don't work with a partner - bad, bad move!)

Anyway, best of luck.

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#13 RE: Attraction at Work - What to Do
18/06/2008 20:04

anon to Ouch (#12)

Ouch, are you crazy?? If you like her and she likes you, go for it! Doesn't come along every day...

Having said that, you don't say if you're attached or not...

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#14 RE: Attraction at Work - What to Do
18/06/2008 21:36

ouch to anon (#13)

both single, but it is a very small office...

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